Meeting Korean Mom and ...

On Thursday, November 1st, 2007, I met my biological mother. SWS, adoption agency, arranged for us to meet at their office with a translator. It was all so fast. I didn't find out until noon the day before that SWS had been able to contact my mother. So, they emailed me and I suggested a time ASAP.

I arrived at SWS early because that is how like to set it up. As I was waiting, In Heiryung, translator, told me that my mom was on her way, but was stuck in traffic. Also, she mentioned that I would be meeting her younger sister, her husband, and daughter. So instead of just my mom, I would be meeting aunt, uncle, and cousin. Ah, I was getting quite nervous.

Not much longer, they arrived. I had no idea what to expect. My mother came over to me, hugged me, and was crying. I don't know how to say it, but it was a relief to finally meet her. I was in shock and my emotions didn't really know what to feel. It is an experience that is so unique. Sometimes, it seems like this person is totally a stranger, but you look at them and think, "I look like her."

My mother is an elementary school teacher. She lives about 25 minutes away from me on the subway, so actually pretty close. She lives alone. She comes from a family with 4 children. She was the third child. She has two older brothers and a younger sister. The second son lives in Atlanta. The oldest sons' children attend universities in NY. One of the brothers is also a teacher. Their mother wanted them to be teachers since they were a somewhat poor family and teaching is a very good job in Korea.

On this meeting, I met my mom's younger sister. She is a middle school teacher and is married to a high school teacher. They have two daughters, who attend university. The one I met, Ye-Seul goes to Yonsei University (one of the three prestigious universities of Korea) for interior design. She can speak pretty good English. She did study English for a semester or so in Atlanta. To further her studies, she is planning to go attend a school in the UK next year for six months. The younger one had an exam, so she was unable to attend.

She always thought about us and if she would be able to see us again. In the past, relationships between her and my father were not good. I didn't ask any of the difficult situations of the past, but she wondered why "adoption" was decided, when she would have liked to try taking care of us. I don't know all of the answers to the questions or when I will ever be able to know what story is correct. She said she had lots to say, but since she can't speak English, it is difficult for her to say either because of language or translator.

After chatting at SWS, we went to a nice restaurant. We had Korean food because I suggested it to the translator before they arrived. The translator picked a very nice restaurant that had private dining rooms. It was a little expensive, but nice to have a conversation without any distractions. They asked more questions about David, my twin, and American family. They were happy to see that both us were well educated and seemingly successful.

Health was also a concern. My mom asked about my leg and to see if I needed surgery since she knew that I had a bad left leg as a child. She also wondered if I would be tall and skinny like my father. She said that I looked very similar to one of her nephews. I guess one of her nephews is a little (ok, a lot) bigger also.

They asked a lot of questions. It was a little difficult to answer the questions about my father. I didn't really know what to say because I didn't know if she would still be upset. Afterwards, she said that she wasn't upset anymore at my father and asked how he felt about her. I haven't asked him, so I didn't know what to say. I talked to the translator and she said translating most of it would be ok.

Even though, I am planning to leave Korea soon, I am thankful that I have had this opportunity. I will try to spend as much time as possible with my mother and father. This weekend, I will go to Jejudo with my father and I already have plans to meet my mother next weekend.